Experts Blogs

  It may sound counterintuitive, but leaders should almost always apologize. Except when they shouldn't. That’s right – to set the best example and foster a positive, motivated environment, leaders should hold themselves accountable for any mistakes and let their employees and colleagues know when they’re sorry. Yet there are those times when apologies are not in order – sometimes it’s not easy, but it is necessary. Top 3 reasons not to apologize: 1. When someone messes up and you have to give feedback: In this case, there is no need for “sorry” because, well, you didn’t do anything wrong necessarily. If...

It has been over ten years since I retired from my full-time practice and spent three months doing volunteer work and traveling in Southeast Asia. One of the best parts of my trip was spending time in the remote Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan. It was their monarch who defined the concept of Gross National Happiness (GNH) to measure quality of life. And Bhutan is the only country in the world that puts happiness and general well-being at the heart of its government policy. The Bhutanese distinguish four pillars of GNH: sustainable development, cultural integrity, ecosystem conservation and good governance. Their Buddhist...

We all start out with the best intentions in mind when the excitement of the New Year comes. After all, a new year should mean a new start right? We want things to be different in our lives so we set those resolutions so we can make them happen.The problem is that life gets in the way. You want to lose weight but you can never seem to find the time to work out and eat healthy. You want to start that new side business you dream about, but it feels too overwhelming. You want to spend more quality time with...

Every day, each of us makes a multitude of choices that will impact the quality of our lives. Some of these choices are minor and will only affect the next few minutes, hours or days, while others will completely change the direction of our lives. "Some choices are easy to make, some are more difficult. Some will lead us straight to success, while others will bring us face-to–face with failure. …But what’s imperative for each of us to know is that, no matter how large or small, easy or difficult, each choice that we make, individually or collectively, alters the direction of our lives.”...

Failure truly is the tuition you pay for career success. Katina Solomon at OnLineCollege.org has created a list of "50 Famously Successful People Who Failed at First." These people come from all walks of life. But they shared one characteristic in common - the commitment to their own career success. Katina has graciously allowed me post her list here: 50 Famously Successful People Who Failed at First Not everyone who's on top today got there with success after success. More often than not, those who history best remembers were faced with numerous obstacles that forced them to work harder and...

I was recently talking with a woman about addiction–specifically gambling.  We spoke more about the other four well-known addictions: alcohol, drugs, sex and food.  She went on to say that she did not have an addictive personality and there was nothing that she was addicted to.   I know from my work with people that EVERYONE has an area in life that addictive behaviors manifest or have the potential to manifest.  I know people who work very hard to mange their food addiction or offset it with exercise.  There are lots of people who are alcoholics who only regard themselves as “social...

When I woke in the middle of the night for the 3rd time to go to the bathroom (incontinence again!),  I found myself muttering.  Of course, the middle of the night is the worst time to think about anything, and I was panicking about what wouldn't get done today.   One thing I'm good at is capitalizing on what happens to me and using it in my work.   Hence, today's post. It's a new year and you've probably made plenty of useless resolutions. Why not think about this?    What can you do to GET RID OF THE SHOULD and FOCUS ON THE CAN...

Now, a word about the goals you've just set for this year: 92% of people don't follow through on New Year's Resolutions or adhere to their Goal Planning by January 10th so this is NOT another blog about setting goals and keeping resolutions! Yes, its important to have SMART goals and to plan out your year. But writing down goals and plans is not what will make them actualize? YOU have to make them come true. You can get so wrapped up in doing tasks that you forget the real secret to having the BEST year of your life: your success...

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer* Every day is a day to be grateful. Are you too busy, or will you be grateful only when what you have is gone? Start your list with “I am grateful” and let it brew for thirty days. I Am Grateful...•  I am grateful for those enlightened souls whose contributions create a...

Okay…today is THE DAY – it’s a brand new year, a fresh start, a place to begin again. And while it’s likely you have some semblance of a plan to slip back into those skinny jeans in 2012, I’ll venture to guess that it’s not your waistline, but your PLAN, that needs a major overhauling. In 12 years of coaching and training thousands of men and women, I can tell you that most weight loss endeavors (especially the New Year's kind) fail, not from a lack of self-discipline, but rather a lack of “pre-paving. “ Consider how easy it is, when...

What prevents us from making the changes we know will make us more effective leaders? Great question. I may be the only executive educator who actually measures whether the participants in my leadership development courses actually do what I teach--and then measures if they are seen as becoming more effective leaders. At the end of my sessions, I ask leaders (who have received 360-degree feedback) to follow up with their co-workers and ask for ongoing ideas about how they can continue to become more effective. A year later, about 70% do some version of this recommended follow-up (as reported by their...

You (and I) make assumptions many times each day. Even though some of them may be backed by factual science, most of the time, those assumptions are just plain wrong. Don't let your assumptions limit your possibilities. "Assumptions are the death of possibilities." James Mapes Humans can't fly to the moon.The human body can't run a mile under 4 minutes.Women are too emotional to be leaders.The sun revolves around the earth (which is flat).Telephones are only for talking and listening.Animal species never change.Black people are inferior to white people.I (Margie) can never run 10 miles. Never ever. Some of these assumptions...

My mind must have been on something else as I began to edge out a bit from a side street to make a left-hand turn onto a main thoroughfare.  At the same time, another driver was turning left onto the street I was on. I slammed on my brakes in time. Admittedly, the near miss was my fault and the driver I almost pulled in front of had every right to be upset.  What surprised me, however, was the intensity of his reaction.  He came unglued, turned blood red, repeatedly flipped me off and began spewing expletives and spittle.  The...

A key component to moving into a strength focus begins with the first of 4 UNFEAR practices that I share in my book. Accept what is real. Unless and until we accept the circumstances of a given situation, we are reacting from fear and through fear based behaviors.  Forward movement is limited or impossible without first giving acceptance. To operate from a place of strength, it is necessary to first accept our talents, our desires, our natural propensities, our weaknesses, our deficiencies, our circumstances, as well as the demands being placed on us.  If we dwell on what's not working, we...

David Brooks nails it with his new book, The Social Animal.  After looking at all the great research going on these days into human behavior, one of his core conclusions is that the emotional connections we make throughout life determine who we are, and who we can become.  Brooks cites several research studies about the importance of student-teacher connection when it comes to student achievement. One comment from a great interview on San Francisco's KQED radio show, "Forum" with Michael Krasny: "I came across one researcher who said that if you want to know who is going to drop out...

  You tell yourself that you "really need to" do something to turn your situation around, and are baffled why you don't. Each day you do the same things and sink deeper into your stressful situation and personal misery. The first step to taking action is knowing what your block is. One way you can start to get clarity is to set aside time to do the project that you know you've been needing to do. Write it into your calendar, protect the time, and have serious intent to carry it through. When it comes time to do it, notice...

Winter weather, for most in the Northern Hemisphere, is cold, dark and dreary - with little chance of a break for several months. The transition back from the holiday season with its increased activity and social engagement - parties, gift giving, family time, vacations - can be an emotional letdown, bringing on the January blues. For some 10% of Americans, depression is exacerbated by "SAD," Seasonal Affective Disorder, triggered by the reduction in sunlight and the brain's response to this underexposure. Sandwiched boomers may feel an even greater strain, with the extra pressures of caring for growing children and aging...

I'm a newsman.  Like all news people, I have a beat -- a territory I cover. Mine is the mega-successful. I've investigated and reported on those who have reached 'the top of the top' in the fields of politics, business, and culture. People like Warren Buffet, Martha Stewart and Bill Bradley. Everybody knows these people's accomplishments. There's no news there. What I do is observe them at length and interview them about how they think and make choices, so I can decipher how their minds and hearts work.  From doing hundreds of interviews, I've found many of these newsmakers to be...