by Marci Garson
You’ve worked like a dog, raised your kids and now there’s a new equation: Volunteering one-on-one= win-win.
The first time we met 6 year–old Michael, he leaped out of his seat and threw his arms around my son Tosh. “My very own volunteer!” he exclaimed as the social worker gently reminded Michael, “Big boys don’t hug, they shake hands.” My son and I had already been prepped to be aware of our physical contact with Michael because, like the 300 other kids who live at The Pleasantville Cottage Schools in Westchester, NY, he had been physically and mentally abused and neglected.
Is your life an endless cycle, revolving around work and taking care of the kids? If so, you’re not alone. In a recent study by the Families and Work Institute, half of American women say they don’t have enough time to spend on themselves and to choose the activities they enjoy. We all know that saying ‘yes’ to more responsibility can make us feel safer with the boss and help us avoid conflict in the family. But too often ‘yes’ is our default mode with just about everything.
In a world of relentless demands, saying ‘no’ is highly underutilized. Of course, you can’t abandon the never ending to-do lists around work and domestic duties. But don’t you think you also deserve to identify your other, more personal priorities? Read More
It is heady stuff to be truly in love and most women describe it as a necessary component, whether married, in a long standing monogamous relationship, or just beginning to date someone. Not that there aren’t other pieces of the pie that count, but women in our culture place such a premium on passion and longing. In fact, we’re sold on the idea – influenced by the media, our friends, our mothers, fairy tales and our own innate desire to have passion in our lives.
And while being in love is about an emotional connection, intimacy and chemistry, many times women place a premium on the chemistry. Women are very invested in this component. I’ve heard women who are dating say they will walk away from someone if there is no chemistry. This is a deal breaker and enough reason to cross the guy from the list. And this applies to women of all ages, not just young women who might be more idealistic about their relationships.
However, it can be misleading to believe that chemistry is the same as romantic love and intimacy. Read More