Let it go! Four keys to letting go of old ideas.

Over the holidays I watched the DVD of a keynote speech by Joe Callaway, a customer service expert and motivational speaker. He was speaking to his peers at the National Speakers Association, on the topic, "Success Means Letting Go of What Used to Work."

I was struck by the simplicity of his delivery and his message. It was easy to see why this speech has become legendary among the speakers circuit; people still talk about it years later. It was a simple presentation, and unusual in some ways. He didn't want us to come away with five, four, three or even two key points, "I have ONE point," he said.

In essence, he asks his audience and viewers what we need to let of in our lives.

I was entertained; the speech made me laugh and I wanted to show it to other people and share it. But most importantly, it led me to look within, at my own life. Even more meaningful, though, is that I could look back over this last leg of my journey and see how much work I have already done, how much I already have let go of.

John Maynard Keynes, the British economist, said that, "The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from the old ones."

One of the biggest things I've let go of in the last couple of months is the kids charity I worked with for seven years. I'd been holding on, despite my frustration – frustration that people didn't "get" my vision for the organization, frustration that my hard work and passion would be wasted because things weren't moving in the direction I thought they should.

But now that I've let go of my role there, I can focus on the great experiences I had there, the great memories of what I accomplished, and the great relationships that I developed. I can consciously shift my focus onto these gifts, and let the frustrations go.

Letting go doesn't mean abandoning your center or your belief in yourself; quite the opposite. When you're firmly committed to your "why," the reasons you do what you do, you can be open to what other people might have to teach you. You can trust yourself and the filters that you have in place.

Here's an analogy that I find really helpful. Let's say you're in Phoenix and want to get to San Diego. Well, the most straightforward way to do that is to take the highway. So, at any given moment in your life, pause and take a look at where you are.

Are you on the highway, traveling straight through from your starting point to your destination? Or have you detoured onto a side road? Are you stuck in a ditch? Did you make a wrong turn? Are you headed in the opposite direction?

Negative, complaining thoughts are like clutter for the mind. And they can disorient you on your journey and make it easy to get lost.

Physical clutter is just as bad. Joe Callaway encouraged us to go home and, "throw some stuff out." Now, I don't consider myself a packrat by any means, but when he talked specifically about those old motivational DVD's and books (he knew his audience!) and getting rid of our own personal resources and materials, he struck a chord with me. He asked, "Aren't you better than that, now? Haven't you developed new stuff since then?"

I had resources that were 10 years old that I hadn't looked at in almost as long. I had things I'd written years ago and never used. My recycling bin filled up quickly, and as it did I felt lighter and lighter. I cleared clutter from my website, as well. While I used to offer several different keynotes, now I focus on two. I've let go of what used to work and honed in on what I'm really passionate about.

When you let go of all of that clutter, your GPS system kicks back in and you can get back on the highway, driving smoothly towards your destination again.

Here are some tips for letting go, clearing your clutter and getting back on the highway of your journey:

- Believe you can change.  The gym that I belong to has a separate entry system into the steam room and whirlpool area, and they change the entry combination every three weeks or so. I' m always amazed at how quickly I memorize the new code and let go of the previous one. It's a good reminder that we all have an incredible capacity to adapt, change and grow. Anything can become a new habit if we give it a chance.

- Focus on now, not on the past. When bad things happen, take a rest stop. Feel your feelings, share your feelings, but then drop it and move on. Don't dwell on it or play that same song over and over again (we all know people who do that). Get right back on that highway to San Diego.

- Stop keeping score. Let go of the competition mindset that says there has to be a winner and a loser. I've played sports my whole life, and what's the first question after any game? Who won? Did you win or lose? What was the score? You know what? I had a great time, thanks. Who cares what the score was ?

My wife loves dancing, and we were recently watching a reality TV show about dancers and singers competing in teams to win a final prize. I was in awe of these young people, so passionate and positive and courageous – they're really living their dreams! But what a shame that the whole thing gets turned into a competitive sport; it quickly goes from uplifting and inspiring to a petty battleground. Do we really need conflict to make things interesting?

- Focus on what to keep. A friend who works for a major Canadian television network recently went through a merger. He "acquired" several staff members and he was getting ready to meet them as their new supervisor. They weren’t particularly happy to be there, and he wanted to get things started right. A caring supervisor, he usually greeted new staff with the question, "So, what kinds of things do you hate doing in this job?" He figures, if he can make sure they do as little of that as possible, he'll keep them happy.

Well, after spending some time with me and learning about some of my own practices and philosophies, my friend decided to make a switch. As these new staff came in to his office, one-by-one, slouched in their chair, some practically scowling at him, obviously mistrustful, he opened with this question: "So, what do you love about this work?" Instantly, he said, the energy in the room shifted. They sat up, looked him in the eye, smiled and best of all they told him!

His supervision strategy was the same in both cases – aim to assign people the tasks they enjoy doing the most, and limit assigning them the ones they don't enjoy. But the conversations were very, very different. The staff said no one had ever asked them that question before. When he articulated that his goal was to see them do more of what they love, every day, it created a magical foundation of trust and loyalty; a true win-win situation.

My friend let go of his regular interviewing technique, and he let go of the work tasks the staff DIDN'T want to do. He tapped into their passion and transformed the energy in the room, in their working relationship and in the workplace.

Just let it go. Now, what do YOU need to let go of in your life? If you're really honest with yourself, are there some actions, words or thoughts that had been working well in the past, but aren't working anymore? What about people, relationships or commitments; resources, techniques and rituals?

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