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9 Ways to Be a Better Man in Bed

Written by Paul Wolf

To all the men who secretly want to be a better lover, Bernie Zilbergeld's got one thing to say: Be less manly. Zilbergeld, author of The New Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex and Pleasure, suggests that men get in touch with their feminine side in the following nine ways:how to be a great lover

1. Listen and share. When you listen, open up and communicate, you feel more comfortable and relaxed; two essential ingredients for great sex.

2. Lose the macho routine. Don't buy into the concept of performance-on-demand. You don't always have to be in the mood.

3. Ask and learn. Don't assume that you know what she wants. Ask her and you might enjoy a pleasant surprise.

4. Get close out of the bedroom. Explore non-sexual ways of getting to know your partner better as a path to closeness and trust.

5. Give hugs and kisses. Sex isn't just about intercourse. Find numerous expressions of affection, including holding hands, cuddling, hugging and kissing.

6. Don't have sex. Dispense with the notion that all physical contact must lead to sex. A little abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

7.Be attentive. Make eye contact and really listen to your partner in and out of the bedroom. Take your partner's feelings, ideas and opinions seriously.

8. Legitimize crying. Real men have emotions. Don't be afraid to share yours with your partner.

9. Don't wimp out. Share your emotions but don't become a basket case. Balancing sensitivity with assertiveness is everything.

Photographer: Galina Barskaya