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Almost Everything You Want to Know About Sex

Written by Dr. Marty Klein

From orgasms to infidelity, columnist Marty Klein, Ph.D., offers advice on the most commonly asked questions about sex.

Each week, dozens of people write to me asking for sexual advice or information. Here are answers to some of the most common questions:

How do I increase the size of my penis?

You can't. The tissue in penises is not the kind you can pump up with exercise. There's nothing you can permanently inject or implant into it safely. And there's no plastic surgery to enhance it. Fortunately, overwhelming numbers of people making love with men insist that penis size does not matter to them.

Sexual communication starts before you take off your clothes. Learn to enjoy getting to know each other better.

 

Remember, there's no such thing as "normal" sexual preferences. Talk about what you like and dislike, not what's "right."

 

Mistrust undermines eroticism. If there's something you're uneasy about, clear it up as soon as possible.

How do I tell my mate what I want (or don't want) sexually?

There's no substitute for clear, direct, simple statements. Most people want more information from their partner, not less. So just tell him or her what you want. Do it in a friendly, non-complaining way when you have plenty of time to listen to each other. And do not bring up other issues during the conversation; write them down for future talks.

How can a woman climax more easily?

Most women climax from stimulation of the clitoris, not from vaginal intercourse. And each woman's preferences differ. So every woman needs to instruct her partner on how she wants to be touched. Several lessons are usually needed; make them as enjoyable and friendly as you can, rather than mechanical or grim. A lubricant, vibrator, mirror, music or refreshments may help; lessons should be no longer than 30 minutes each.

I think my partner is fooling around with someone else. What are the signs of infidelity?

Don't play detective or psychologist. If you have evidence or suspicions, tell your partner. Ask for an explanation. If it's at all plausible, believe it. If you have continued suspicions, go with your partner to a marriage counselor. If you're in obvious pain, and your mate is innocent, he/she will probably go willingly.

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Marty Klein, Ph.D., has spent his 24-year career as a Marriage Counselor and Sex Therapist helping people understand and accept their sexuality. You can read more about his books, tapes and appearances on his Web site, SexEd.org