5 Ways to Push Through Fear

Fear is a natural, evolutionary based response to new situations, but “what ifs” come from your lack of confidence and lack of self trust. “What ifs” come from your lack of confidence and lack of self trust. If you don’t trust yourself to be able to learn and course correct from any mistakes, if you don’t have a secure feeling that ‘no matter what happens, I will make a good situation out of it”, and if you don’t have a strong and accurate appreciation of your own value, then you will feel a need to maintain tight control over and pre-forecast the outcomes of any new step. Your worrying serves this purpose. When you have a concern about whether you are ‘enough’ or ‘have what it takes’, it will cause you to put a lot of pressure on any next step, i.e., you will give the decision an extra charge because it ‘has to’ succeed in order for you to prove yourself, redeem yourself, or finally find success and security, etc.

The most successful people, to use the cliché, “feel the fear and do it anyway”, because they have core confidence underneath their fear.

What wish do you have for a next step - but keep your wheels spinning by generating lots of “what ifs”?

Use these 5 powerful tips to move past your “what ifs” and start having a career with more passion or a relationship with more happiness

Here is how successful people who are not getting in their own way do it. Each of these effective approaches stem from their core confidence in their own competence and value:

1. They don’t tie their self worth to the up and down results that ensue from their decision each day. Rather, they are ‘objective’ not ’subjective’ about the results that happen, and see each misstep as an opportunity to improve.

2. They too put their attention on ‘what other people think” - but on a different aspect. Their focus is on articulating other’s challenges and finding improved solutions to them, not on what other people will think about them in terms of their personal worthiness, value, or competence. Their focus is not self absorbed on ‘how others will think about me so I can feel ok in myself,’ instead their motivation is intrinsic and their focus is on how can I make my best contribution in their world and feel proud of myself for that.

3. They follow the motto: “Ready, fire, aim!” Its better to put out a first iteration and constantly improve it with feedback from the marketplace then to not leave the gate at all.

4. They have a big picture and a longer term perspective. While appreciative of the small wins along the way, they don’t necessarily need to have the big hit results within the first few days or months - they have self trust and faith in their long term ability to succeed and a sense of deserving success.

5. They use their obsessing about “what ifs” to put any helpful contingency plans into place, not to stop them in their tracks.

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Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. helps 'talented and successful people get out of their own way',FAST! Informed by 10 years as a researcher at Harvard Medical School, she teaches businesspeople to achieve double to triple digit business growth and career promotions within a year, as well as the ability to make the right choices for a fulfilled life.  Clients testify the methods are like "California closets for the mind", "a slingshot for a humongous leap forward in your career", and a "life changing experience."    

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