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Stephen Covey on "Competition"You've seen it around the water cooler or with a girlfriend. They gossip, laugh at someone else's mistakes and get jealous of a colleague's promotion or success. Maybe that person is you. In fact, I knew a woman who I thought was very funny until I realized that her humor centered on cutting other people down. I was not guiltless in this friendship. I used to laugh and was actually, quite unconscious of the negativity. After reading books like Stephen Covey’s and realizing I wanted to have a well-lived positive life, I could feel the energy drain from me when I was around her. I didn’t want to be like that. Stephen Covey, who is a Mormon and thought leader on principled leadership says you will find people who actually are able to elevate themselves. “They are detached. They’re not part of it. I’m not a product of that so I can smile about it. I’m not happy with it, but I’m not going to get my head and heart into it.” Covey says our society is rampant with people comparing themselves to each other. They’re taught early on by parents or schools to value themselves compared to another, for example, in grades. People develop a “scarcity mentality,” Covey says that is all based on how someone stacks up against another. If the other person does well, than I’m losing. Covey, says the way to turn that around is to focus on the BIG question, “If you can get someone to describe the eulogies they’d like to have given at their funeral, you know, it sobers them. Or what do you want to see happen out of this next visit you have with this person? What kind of a spirit do you want to end up with? What kind of a family would you like to really have, see yourself on your 25th Anniversary? How are the kids reacting to each other? What about your grandkids, how much is this carried on to the next generation? And are they about serving or is it about me and mine? Covey who serves on the Board of the Points of Light Foundation, a charity promoting volunteerism says a well-lived life means thinking beyond yourself and contributing: “I remember leaving the Air Force command one time and I said to the commander, “Why are you undertaking this whole big huge initiative to bring principle center leadership into your culture after you’ve been here for 30 years? You’re never going to make a general, you’re a colonel. Why are you doing this?” Covey who serves on the Board of the Points of Light Foundation, a charity promoting volunteerism says a well-lived life means thinking beyond yourself and contributing: “I remember leaving the Air Force command one time and I said to the commander, “Why are you undertaking this whole big huge initiative to bring principle center leadership into your culture after you’ve been here for 30 years? You’re never going to make a general, you’re a colonel. Why are you doing this?” He said, "My dad brought me down close to him on his death bed. My mother was standing there weeping, watching this. And he just whispered to me, "Son, don't do life like I did. I neglected you. I neglected your mother and the family. I did a lot of things I should not have done. I never made a difference. Son, don't do life like I did," he said to me with tears in his eyes. That so inspired me. That was the greatest legacy my father left. And, so I'm willing to climb mountains and to swim upstream. I'm going to help bring this thing and I hope my successor does better than I do because it's not about me; it's about contribution. I'm not going to do life like he did and that was his legacy to me." Related StoriesOnly registered users can write comments.
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