Why Procrastination Causes Us Stress

When you get to the end of the day and haven’t completed the most important task you needed to for that day,  you will have to deal with yourself for not having done it.  Do you beat yourself up for it?  Do you really know why you procrastinate?  If you did, you might have a more constructive response towards yourself.  When you procrastinate essentially you are seeking relief.

First, if you think actually doing the task will be an unpleasant experience you will want to prevent yourself from having to experience that.   Maybe you think you will be bored or that it will take so much work to pull all the info together that you will be overwhelmed .   Maybe you don’t really know what to say to a person you need to call, so you don’t want to put yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to do.

Second,  it might be the case that you don’t think that you can perform well on the task you have to do, and by not doing it you are protecting yourself from having to face and deal with your perceived deficit.

Third, when you procrastinate what you are doing is trying to prevent other people from criticizing or rejecting you.   The idea is that if you don’t call or put your work out to other people,  then you are preventing the opportunity for other people to comment on it negatively.     

Know this:   its not just other people’s criticisms that you are trying to prevent - even more important is that you might be afraid that if you get negative feedback from other people, you will take it personally and end up doubting yourself.    That would leave you in an unconfident place, and stuck.  By procrastinating you get to take control of the process - if you don’t think you will handle their criticisms well, your logic is:  “then I will deny them an opportunity to criticize, I’ll just put it off”.

In each of these cases, you are seeking relief from an unpleasant emotion or feeling about yourself.  When you procrastinate you think you are getting relief,  but when you procrastinate do you really feel free and easy, like you are truly relieved?  Probably not!  Usually you feel bad about yourself, and feel stressed you are not getting things done.

If relief is what you are seeking, I want you to have relief!

If you are going to procrastinate, then at least be intentional about it:  Don’t surf the ‘net or hang out by the water cooler but feel that niggly voice in the back of your mind knowing you should be doing something different;  that’s not relief.   Either get the task done and give yourself a real reward or else let yourself have the time off to truly enjoy, and make sure when you are back from your break you follow through to do the task.

If you are procrastinating because you are worried about other people’s reactions, then the first and best use of your time is to focus on improving your core competence .   When my workshop participants quickly develop more confidence in the value they provide, they are excited to get their work out to other people.

Here’s the takeaway:  If you are going to seek relief, then at least get real relief.   If not, then seek results!

Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. is an executive coach and trainer who works with high potential and senior executives to rapidly remove any blocks to their leadership effectiveness. She combines ‘best practices’ executive coaching approaches with behavior change methods she developed over 10 years as a psychologist at Harvard Medical School. Click here to see all her articles.

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